PILGRIMAGE OR DEMOLITION DERBYWere rolling. Cant stop. Flattened Iraq. Sights on Syria. Weapons of mass destruction. Almost certain. We wont stop. Probably hiding terrorists. Shouldnt stop. Its Georges show. Its Rummys show. We dont want to stop. Eyeing Iran. Going nuclear. Unhelpful. We cant be stopped. Watching Lebanon. The Saudis. Egypt. Were on a mission. Whos next. Whos not next. Wholl stop the rain. Wholl put out the cat. Its your turn. Isnt. Is. Isnt. Dont miss the excitement. Its Saddams half brother. Saddams son-in-law. His half-son-in-law. Eating a Quarter Pounder. Thats Georges Quarter Pounder. Georges half brother. Neil Bush. Neil Bush is Saddams half brother. Saddams half-son-in-law is eating Georges Quarter Pounder. But first. Theres Ahmad Chalabis. Heres General Garner. Hes riding a carpet, driving a Humvee, humping a camel. Its the New Iraq. Everybodys filthy rich, overweight, great in bed. Everybodys got their own power tools, their own motor home, hair style, retirement plan. Everybodys using ab crunchers, sitting in massage chairs, campaigning for president. Weve got heat. Weve got cold. Weve got hot and cold running water. No power. Powers still off. Were pumped. Pumping oil. Pumping to Playboy. Here come our POWs. Flags and Texas. In excellent health. Coulda bin tortured. In excellent spirits. Coulda bin brainwashed. Heroes. Took wrong turn. Coulda bin stoned. Ask Doctor Floyd. Ask Pink Floyd. Ask Christopher Hitchens. Youre on the air. Hitchens bitchin. Lashing Liberals. Mr.Wet Noodle. Please master. Ten more strokes. Lets celebrate. Baath Partys washed up. The Carwash Party. Here come the Christian Right. Theyre knocking on doors. Dissing Allah. Phoning during supper. Praise the Lord. Praise America. Saddams in Syria. Hitlers in Syria. That proves it. An ancient civilization. Moved my cheese. Its 4:10 AM. There is no God. Over to Christiane. Shes in a downpour. Thats not her name. Is so. Her names Armanpour. Thats what I said. Did not. Did so. I smell success. I smell gas. I smell something fishy. Its Hal Hussein. Hussein Kamel. Kahlid Abdullah. Abdullah Kahlidi. Hes doing a great job. Hes a crook. Hes brilliant. A fool. Statesman. Liar. Its a pilgrimage. A riot. Crusade. Gay Pride Parade. A demolition derby. Heres Maria. Over to Tyler. Its good news. Its bad news. A whirlpool. A cesspool. Next on the list. Is no list. Is so. Is not. Everythings possible. Stay Informed.
Tokyo Tues 04/29/03