POLITICAL SCIENCE VERSE

HAM ON KARZAI

Look! Its ham on rye. Its ham on a Kaiser. Mohammed Karzai. Our guy. Herr Doktor. Mr. Fix-it. Hes growing the economy. Hes winning elections. Hes fixing elections and growing heroin. Whatta guy. Hes a Pashtoon. A cartoon. Hes a wheeze-bag. Hes a sleaze-bag. A con man. Americas man. Fair and balanced. Hams got a beard. Hams acting weird. Selling jalopies. Harvesting poppies. Americas hope. Peddling dope. Hes got cakes on the griddle. A fine new fiddle. Playing both sides, off against the middle. Thank God hes a country boy. Listen! Its Adam Ant. Its Eminem. Duran Duran. Abdullah Abdullah. Is he a choice? Is he an echo? An off-planet terminator? A bug exterminator? Red Rover, Red Rover, we call Abdullah Abdullah over. Hes in a runoff. Hes not in a runoff. Hes in a runoff but hes not running. Hes not in a runoff but hes running. Fair and balanced. Look! Its Bananarama. The Dalai Lama. Barack Obama. Hes talking change. Hes adding more troops. Hes reducing the troops. Sending more troops and bringing them home. Being decisive. Being bipartisan. Listening to the Left. Listening to the Right. Hes ending the War. Hes escalating the War. Putting his foot down. Dragging his feet. Looking for a chance to win. Cutting his losses. Its spring. Its summer. Its November and there are mountains. Mountains and improvised explosives. Burkhas and AK-47s. Its this year. Its last year. It started when the British carried on up the Khyber. When the Soviets went down in flames. When Flubbermouth joined the Northern Alliance. Gods on our side. Gods on their side. Thankyou Jesus! Thankyou Allah! Its an opportunity. Its a quagmire. Whos Sayed Masood? Wheres bin Laden? Gotta stop Al Qaeda. Gotta beat the Taliban. Bring em on! Weel flush em out! Were winning. Were not winning. Gotta new strategy. Outta control. Redirection. Redeployment. Bench marks. Gotta complete the Mission. End point. Open endedc Tokyo, Tuesday, 11/03/09