Its a one. Its a two. 3,4,5. Wow. Its a category 5 hurricane. Katrina. Boiling across the Gulf. Headed for Bourbon Street. Eve of Destruction. Whoops. Just missed the Big Easy. Thank God. False alarm. Hallelujah Cable news blew it. Cried wolf. Katrina kayoed the land of cotton. Somethin rotten. Praise the Lord. Praise Jesus. Whoa. Hold on. Not so fast. Here comes the tidal surge. Filling Lake Ponchatootee. Level 4. Quick. Get in your Caddy. Watch out. There go the levees. 1,2,3. Hallelujah. Get on the bus. Aint no bus. Praise the Lord. Waters rising. Citys flooding. Whoopeedo. Flooding the bayou. Gumming the gumbo. Hallelujah. Head for the attic. Head for the Superdome. Praise Jesus. Were headed for the Promised Land. Look. Theres the mayor. Blowing on a sacred bullhorn. Theres the guvnah. Praying into her holy cellphone. And theres the president. Sleeping in the sage brush. Please dont disturb. Presidents dreaming. Dreaming the future. Were No.1. Worlds greatest country. Only Super Power. Yippee. Lets hear it for America. No flies on us. Listen. Its George Michael. Its Mike Brown. James Brown. The Sex Machine. Head of FEMA. Hardest working man in crisis management. Not Working. Systems not working. Mikes not working. Citys flooding. Waters rising. Its Gods will. People are dying. Poor people. Poor black people. Sex Machine. Come on up. Visit the Super Bowl. Have a super time. Watch out. Here comes the president. Wide awake. Ready for action. Lets move. Doin a great job. Hes on a roll. On a chopper. On Bourbon Street. In a puddle. Hallelujah. Yippeeay yay. Not another My Pet Goat. Not another Yellow Cake. Cake Walk. This time its different. New Orleans isnt another quagmire. Presidents taking responsibility. Hes leading. Hes a leading leader. Presidents hot. Proactive. Hes blaming the mayor. Blaming the guvnah. Hes out front. Pointing fingers at the Press. Fingering the residents. Taking personal responsibility. Stay tuned. Presidents reporting progress. Relaying the good news. Not resigning. Staying the course. Offering a terrific new approach. Incredible action plan. Presidents promising paradise. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. Blaming himself for the slow response. Bodies in the streets. Dead seniors. Gunfire. Looting. Everythings finally gonna be perfect. No more lies. No more car bombs. Tax cuts for fat cats. Invisible health care. Unnecessary foreign wars. Deindustrialization. In the New America, everybody will be free. Everybody will be rich. Everybody will be happy. Amen Brother. Tokyo, Wed. 09/15/05