McUSA

CAR DEALERS

It takes real talent to turn a pile of used crap into a previously driven diamond in the rough with a life expectancy longer than Fidel Castro. If it wasnt for you guys our scrap yards and landfills would be overflowing with clunkers, lemons and tons of defective junkboxes deemed too dangerous to drive. Instead, you religiously roll back odometers, fill wobbly crankcases with oatmeal, then do whatever it takes to unload former taxi cabs on mentally challenged hillbillys or rip off unsuspecting Seniors with repainted hotrods. As purveyors of previously owned automobiles, I know life isnt always a bowl of guacamole, particularly these days when every corporate crook and political con man eventually gets called a cockroach, blood sucker or some sort of glorified used car dealer. Bilking 911 widows with pizza delivery Subarus is bad enough, but when you get undercoated with the same brush as the predatory mob who totaled our entire planet, its time for honest people to raise their hands and say, enough. Eventually things will turn around. Everything is connected with everything else. If a butterfly in the Amazon buys a used car, bad credit will start to flow. Soon, people everywhere will be buying beaters, one-time Mexican drug- mobiles or previously driven Syrian military vehicles. And lets not forget what else the automobile industry brings to the table. Sharkskin suits, gro-lite suntans, that perpetually optimistic Hey Rube smile even when an engine seizes or the wheels fall off. Absolutely essential qualities to jump-start shattered investor confidence or stimulate sagging faith in the future of democratic capitalism. So dont hold back. Lets hear it for car dealers everywhere. Our future lies in your capable, loving hands. Tokyo, Friday, 03/06/09