GLOBAL GLOBAL

PRADO MADONNAS

Madonnas here in the Prado, and I dont mean the Material Girl from New Jersey, the one who wears black leather underwear, and steals everybodys stuff; I mean the real Madonna, the married virgin who the angel told would have baby Jesus without sex, would be Gods mother, then ascend to heaven without a space shuttle or a flying saucer. Theres also lots of great Jesus pictures here, and not just the old crown of thorns and good shepherd stuff either. I mean boss pictures in real oil by big name guys who could really paint. Theres Jesus being born at Christmas, baby Jesus with a radioactive ring around his head, and twenty-something Jesus talking to Jewish senior citizens. Then theres soldiers whipping Jesus, Jesus weeping, a bleeding Jesus nailed to a cross, and Jesus finally getting sick of the whole thing and heading back to heaven on a silver cloud. But the picture I like best is one by this guy Goya, where first he painted a lady with her clothes on, then another with her clothes off. The nude lady looks like Madonna, not Jesus mother, but the New Jersey one who built up her breasts with Nautilus machines, and drove around in stretch limousines snorting cocaine and having sex with strange black men like Dennis Rodman. I think the pictures called The Naked Madonna, Im not sure, but its sure lots more exciting than the real Madonna pictures.

Madrid Tues 02/10/03