God of the 12-Item Fukubukuro, Pray for us. Lord of the Designated Driver, Keep us safe. Buddha of the Inning-Ending Double-Play, Do your best. Allah of the Foot-Long Hotdog, Hold the mustard. Jesus of the Giant Screen TV, Send us Breaking News. Mary of the Choppy Opening, Make markets rise. Mohammed of the OJ Mugshot, Find the real killer. Joseph Smith of the Child Bride, Avoid the FBI. Jaweh of Premature Ejaculations, Give us more lead time. Messiah of Country Music, Reduce redneck rage. Lama of Fried Donut Holes, Increase technological fixes. Saint Peter of the Last Smorgasbord, Pardon Cheney. Enkidu of Canned Salmon, Feed the hungry. Brother Andrew of TV Bounty Hunters, Forgive us. Holy Mother of the Cosa Nostra, Make it a double. Moloch of Balloon Payments, End the subprime crisis. Ali Baba of the Nevada Task Force, Spare Warren Jeffs. Lao Tze of Frozen Eggrolls, No Polish jokes. Thelonius Monk of 911, Support Rudy. Sri Ramakrishna of Old Stogies, Bring it on. Maharishi of Apply Directly to the Forehead, Get lost. Zeus of Nuclear Biohazards, Keep us safe. Tokyo, Wednesday, 01/02/08