EAST IS EAST

TURBAN BOMB

Must be slowing down Spent six hours walking around Melbourne: National Gallery Victoria Managed to miss who cares 60s Brit Pop Art Got into photos videos Orange sunset Guy brushing teeth; Hardslogged over to Royal Botanical Gardens Family values picnickers under gum cedar eucalyps Harp and flute before tea garden and leashed hot dogs dragging tongues around hot afternoon Just woke up from hour nap Sunday evening Aussie tv saturated by sucky sports: Cricket Soccer Aussie Rules Football Womens Golf Ladies Basketball. Swimming Trials 2006 Commonwealths Followed by sport recaps replays misplays highlights cockups wrapups wraparounds So its over to CNN for global fat chewing Openers: Cartoon Mohammed Turban Bomb Outrager No pics, only head babble Cut to Muslim crazies Beiruit Damascus London Pakistan New Zealand Barreled fish targets for tv eunuchs hotpantsing War On Terror Danes exiting embassies Rocks smoke fire Cut to Egyptian sunken ferry protest mobs Crazy Muslims Rocks riot cops tear gas Towelhead cannon fodder filling Washington Tel Aviv We Told You So Breaking News Latest Commie Aaarab Outrage. Over to Gaza Israeli missile strike Targetted rubout Probably terrorists Certainly deserved it explains helpful voice-over Channel surf to local Up To The Minute Windbag Wheatboarders kickbacking Saddam in Aussie Oil For Food or Food For Oil or Who The Hell Knows What For Whatever Scandal Cut to two murdered sister funeral Intercut shots of killer gunned down in Outback Tire-ironed one of our brave cops explains helpful voice-over. Great.Good to know. Time to order room service. Wonder how the steaks are. Melbourne, Sun. 02/05/06