BIG HAIRY CANADIAN POEMS

ALBERTA BEEF

Im trying to make some sense of this modern world, how I grew up in Calgary, where I didnt like fish, then by collecting and combining its fragments to rethink the very idea of the whole. Because Alberta is beef country. Of course our problems are only ass high compared to the grim authoritarianism of the Fascist, Nazi and Communist regimes, where attendees roll up wheelchair-bound celebrating work, health and happy well-fed children. Calgarians were always beefing about the Bigshots Back East, which is what we called Ontario and Quebec. For some people, modernity with all its gadgets and advanced technology means they are winners, proud men and women marching forward. Forecasting is not prophecy but sometimes television gets things right. On Sundays my mother cooked a pot roast which my younger sister and I took to school as sandwiches. An Arizona Congresswoman shot through the head at a Safeways. A bomb blast at Moscow Airport. The roast beef was always well-done because my father didnt like blood in his meat. Some people blame America for the worlds problems. Beef can be either a noun or a verb, to beef about the weather, for example. At Club Screwball, aka, Club Ding-a- Ling, subjective experience is worn as a fashion: twisted, bizarre and radical. We can either go along with the world or hope for something better. Prophecy is not forecasting but sometimes the prophets got things right, like when Nostradamus predicted a man called Himmler would open a steak house in Calgary called Hifs. In todays global technological society, Dada was an absurd aesthetic response to the dehumanization at the feet of the conquest of human and non-human nature through instrumental rationality. In the 1950s Calgary beef-lovers flocked to Safeways for sirloin, t-bones and Roast Prime Ribs of Alberta Beef. Later the Beats Hippies and Punks filled the gap after Dylan went electric. Condoms are a safe way to have sex. Most victims who get shot through the head and survive, live the rest of their lives as vegetables. In the winter we ate salad with our roast beef made from iceberg lettuce imported from California. Tokyo, Tuesday, 01/25/11